YES.

This week, I received yes after yes for numerous incredible opportunities.  I'm so used to hearing "no" that I was feeling quite overwhelmed by Tuesday lunchtime.  Let's jump to the beginning.

Monday I visited the orphanage to meet the staff and learn about volunteering opportunities.  It was a little overwhelming to hear everyone speaking in Lithuanian and not understand any of it.  But I learned that they have a dance instructor and she speaks English!  So the language barrier is not as big of an issue.  We planned out times for me to come and I have my first assignment!  I get to choreograph and teach a dance for Valentine's Day!  Uhh...that's two weeks away.

Tuesday I went to the orphanage again and actually taught a dance class.  I was unaware that I would be doing that, so I was unprepared.  Luckily, the girls were more interested in what I could do, so I showed them the talent show piece I did at camp this summer.  They were impressed.  I also learned that they like hip-hop.  I've never done hip-hop.  But I'm open to learning!  They were chattering away in Lithuanian with their instructor, half the time about me, and I couldn't understand anything!  That was slightly overwhelming, intimidating, and exhausting.  But I think the girls liked it overall, even if they did make fun of my "ballet".

Tuesday I also met with the Spiritual Life director here at LCC about possibly getting involved with that ministry.  She was pretty passionate about inviting me to join the student leader team.  I was surprised since I'll be here for only one semester, but she thinks my personality will match well.  And all the opportunities that come from the team are incredible!  Weekly team meetings.  One-on-one meetings with the director every two weeks.  Event planning.  Friendship.  Growth.  Learning a little bit more about my calling to ministry.  So much good stuff!

But with all these opportunities, I didn't want to over commit myself.  I was feeling overwhelmed with goodness and was concerned about the extent to which this was God's prompting or my fantasy.  I spent some time in prayer during chapel on Wednesday, and I heard, "With you I am well pleased"--the same words God spoke at Jesus' baptism (Matthew 3:17).  I was in shock and was quite an emotional mess.  I've had numerous people say to me things like, "God is proud of you."  It was hard to believe those statements.  But to hear this from God directly...wow.  What have I done to make God pleased with me?  Nothing.  Maybe that's it.

I don't think I'll ever know.  I am currently understanding it as His pleasure with my heart, in my growth as the woman He beautifully designed me to be.  Recently my dad said to me, "I am forever proud of your courage and your character."  I don't need to strive to prove myself.  

I felt like God was saying that the doors are open and He'll bless whatever I choose to make of this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

So?  I said yes.  To it all :)

Technology

Labas! Happy Friday!!

A few updates:

-I am feeling much better about this whole culture shock thing. It helps to talk to people here and get into the routine of school. This week flew by!

-Unfortunately, I am battling a pretty nasty cold that has been going around. All I want to do is lay in my bed in the dark. My sinuses are causing a lot of pressure. I don't know that I've ever been in this much pain before.

-My dream is coming true!! I have been give the opportunity to teach dance at an orphanage!! I go on Monday to find out more :) Overall, I'm a little nervous because I've never taught children and I don't speak their language. But God has a plan and I'm ready for the challenge!

I decided to switch things up this week and share a "journal entry" that I submitted for my cross-cultural class about the role of technology in my study abroad experience.

*          *          *

After quickly completing our group work a few days ago, my partners and I were all on our phones passing time until class was dismissed.  Like many people, I pull out my phone to lessen my anxiety in awkward situations.  This time, my partners were chatting away in Lithuanian.  They paused, looked at me, and said, “We’re talking about you.  All Americans have iPhones.”

I immediately became defensive and replied that I’ve only had my phone for a month.  But when I think about it, I made the same generalization in my pre-iPhone days.  How great it would be to have an iPhone and be able to text anyone from anywhere, without needing Wi-Fi for my iPod, I used to think.  Since getting my phone, I realize just how hard it is to put it down.  What if I miss an email?  What if I miss a Facebook notification?  What if someone texts me? 

In reality, I am not using my phone for communication the majority of the time.  It often becomes a source of mindless entertainment at my fingertips through which I lose precious time that could be spent making memories with my family before I move out in eighteen months.

Granted, technology is not all bad.  A huge perk of getting an iPhone in December is that it greatly facilitates communication home while in Europe.  One of my biggest concerns about studying abroad was being away from home for four months.  I hate goodbyes and I tend to call my mom a lot during the beginning of any adventure.  With cell phone service out of the question, I was thankful for Skype.  I would often exclaim, “I have no idea how people survived years ago!  But if they did, I should be good.”

However, when I compare my various phone uses, the time spent communicating with friends and family in the States pales in comparison to the amount of time I spend mindlessly staring at a tiny screen, absorbing nothing of significance.  In a recent TEDx talk, Christina Crook (2013) describes technology and Internet as tools; they can be powerful when put to proper use.  But too often, I find myself turning to social networking sites for affirmation more than for communication.

Ultimately what made this study abroad experience possible was the incredible amount of support I received from everyone back home.  My friends showed love as they treated me every night over finals week.  My roommate attempted to write me a letter and allowed me to see her in an emotional state for the first time ever.  Professors were borderline jealous of my courses abroad.  I felt secure and well loved; I knew those relationships would still be present in September.  Technology played no role in this.

Everyone said I was going to have an amazing experience.  I eventually began to believe it in my heart.  It wasn’t all easy.  I encountered a rough patch in November when I dug deep and uncovered some fears in my heart.  But instead of turning to music or Internet entertainment to distract myself, I sat down with a mentor and worked through them, face-to-face, however difficult it was.  

This interactive (technology-free) method of dealing with emotions has equipped me for my time in Lithuania.  In an article detailing his time supervising volunteers abroad, Robert Huesca (2013) mentioned that the only girl who visibly showed distress over culture shock happened to also be the volunteer who brought the least amount of technology.  I recently began my battle with culture shock and am deliberately choosing to surround myself with people here rather than seeking the artificial comfort provided by Facebook.

Unfortunately, I cannot go completely technology-free during this adventure.  But I can choose people over Internet.  Numerous times in the last week I’ve accidentally left my phone in my room as I venture to the floor lounge to cook or do homework.  And I don’t miss it, whether I return 30 minutes or even 5 hours later.  I came for a cultural experience.  If I hide behind my comfortable technology, I’ll completely waste these incredible, precious four months!

 

References

Huesca, R. (2013, January 14). How Facebook can ruin study abroad. The Chronicle of Higher Education. Retrieved from http://chronicle.com/article/How-Facebook-Can-Ruin-Study/136633/

TEDxTalks. (2013, December 14). Letting go of technology: Christina Crook at TEDx TheAnnexWomen [video file]. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g3rhVnaTy0

Adjustment

Labas!

So let me start by saying that I haven't gone a single day without hearing about my hair catching on fire. I don't think I will ever live that down. Earlier this week, the study abroad director decided to relive the tale for me (again). Apparently there was a "ball of fire"?? I'm quite thankful that I didn't see it and that I emerged unharmed. This might not be anyone's ideal first impression, but it's memorable and totally a classic Emma move :) At least I can laugh at it! AND, I've managed to avoid fire all week!

So classes have begun. My final schedule after some manipulation:

• Neuropsychology
• Behavioral Genetics
• Abnormal Psychology (independent study)
• Intro to the Bible II (New Testament study)
• Intro to Theology
• Cultural Anthropology
• Cross-Cultural Seminar 

I'm aware that this is a lot. I've been informed of the craziness by most everyone I've shared my schedule with. But I'm excited for these classes, especially Bible and Theology! It's so cool that people from many languages can gather together to learn about one awesome God!

I'm trying to get an internship teaching dance during my semester here. If it works out, I'll get a mentor and a letter of recommendation by the time I'm finished. Plus it'll keep me in shape for Acclamation next fall.

Since my last post, we've done some touring of Klaipeda. I've been into Old Town twice on my own. It's been an adventure for sure, but I like exploring and learning where things are. Plus I got a pretty sweet photo shoot with some unique architecture on Thursday.

On a more intimate level.... At some point within the last 24 hours, I began my ohmygoodnesswhattheheckdidIgetmyselfinto phase. AKA culture shock. Monday was weird because everyone was catching up about break in their native language and I'm standing around before class, not knowing anyone. I'm not concerned with language, but I'm really struggling with the adjustment back into academic life.

I think there's a part of me that's still recovering from last semester. Honestly, my schedule was insane. There's a reason why certain classes are suggested for juniors and others are suggested for seniors. I survived simply by taking things one day at a time with lots of to-do lists. In the weeks between Fall Break and Thanksgiving, I was insanely stressed and sick of the routine of my schedule. Class. Work. Homework. Sleep. Repeat. Every once in a while I had a few hours to offer for dance or meals with friends. Surprisingly, I made it through. But I don't want to ever repeat a semester like that. 

Somehow in my head, I think that if I don't do homework, then I won't get sucked into more academic insanity. That's obviously not the case. I want to enjoy my time here and make the most of my experience, but I'm scared that I will fall into the trap of schoolwork, with absolutely zero down time. To hear reactions about my LCC schedule that sound an awful lot like the reactions toward my previous Messiah schedule is not super encouraging.

I can see why such reactions prevail, but I wanted to maximize my experience here by choosing classes that would benefit from the diversity of the student population. Most of the other American students here informed me that they chose easy schedules so they could relax and travel. I'm trying to remain positive, but it's extremely difficult when everyone around me is negative toward my course load.

I'm sure that I just need to settle into my routine and then things will smooth out. Once I have that routine with things to look forward to, I'll be able to take my week one day at a time. I'll have my studying, sleeping, and socializing schedule down. And then I should be good. In the meantime, it's a struggle.

I began to initiate contact back home this week, for a variety of reasons. It may have been too early for some people and in general, too much all at once. I wouldn't yet say that I'm homesick, but I do miss being able to sit in the same room with people I care for.

When I began this post, I was nervous about sharing the really deep, scary emotions. But I'm glad. It's borderline therapeutic. They will pass. And I know you all are supporting me. Plus I got a nice, long, secure, loving hug today that thoroughly helped :)

Until next week!
Emma

Greetings from Lietuva!

Labas!

That means "hello" in Lithuanian :)

I am safe and sound in Lithuania, currently going through orientation. Unfortunately, it's rained everyday thus far. Here's a daily breakdown of my week:

MONDAY
I began the traveling portion of my adventure! Not much to report, but I did get to watch Despicable Me 2 on the plane! To the left is a gorgeous sunrise above Germany.


















TUESDAY
I arrived in Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, along with about 15 other Americans. We traveled to our hostel and then broke into two groups to tour the city, led by study abroad interns.
Sights:

• Russian Orthodox Monastery--Females must cover their heads.
• The balcony from which Pope Jean Paul preached in 1993 when Lithuania was declared a Catholic nation.
• A castle on a hill--Lithuania was formed around this castle; it's the heart of the city.
  

We then spent a while in a coffee shop chatting about Lithuania in general and getting to know each other. We were treated to a traditional Lithuanian dinner that consisted of three different preparations of potatoes. I tried everything, surprisingly, and most of it was tasty. There was one not so tasty drink that was made by letting bread, sugar, and yeast soak for a while. And then I finally got to sleep!

WEDNESDAY
More sightseeing!

• We visited another Russian Orthodox church and witnessed a priest chanting something.
• We visited three Roman Catholic churches. They were all gorgeous! Also, 90% of the population is Catholic, so I'm sure I'll be seeing more.
• We climbed a ridiculous amount of stairs to view the city and the "three crosses".  All the buildings in Vilnius have red roofs except the president's palace. Her roof is green, which causes some tension.
  
  
  

• We entered the artsy district. Interesting fact: When people get married, the couple places a lock, generally with their names, on a bridge. We saw this a lot, but especially in the artsy district. I think the locks are removed occasionally because they get too heavy for certain bridges.
  

• We toured the KGB museum. The KGB were the secret police of Lithuania when Russia invaded. The museum was built in the old KGB building. The basement was used as a prison during the interrogation period for certain select "criminals". It was redone to be as authentic as possible based on survivors' testimonies. We viewed holding chambers, cells, interrogation rooms, various torture rooms, an isolation room, and the execution chamber. Other floors of the museum displayed recovered items and provided more information on anti-Soviet groups, the KGB, deployment, labor camps, and the social impacts of WWII in general.
• We saw the exterior of the president's palace. Lithuanian architecture is cool.
  
• We saw the miracle/wishing stone/square. You spin around 7 times and then make a wish. Over a million people did this during WWII to wish for freedom and it happened!
  

Other fun facts from the day:

• I had Lithuanian pizza. Not bad!
• I completed my first grocery shopping trip to buy a water bottle and an orange :)
• I'm pretty sure I looked pathetic when I went to McDonald's and attempted to order ice cream and then had no idea how to pay with the coins in my wallet. I'm so thankful people here speak English and will help me.
• I managed to find my way back to my hostel without the help of our intern!
• My hair and my coat caught on fire. Don't worry, I'm good. My coat is still usable. I'm just super nervous around any flame source now!
• Shortly after, an elderly woman fell into me and then rolled into the street. I sure hope this isn't setting a precedent for the rest of the trip...
• I visited a tea shop. There are cafes and coffee shops everywhere! This could be bad for my affinity for drinking tea...

THURSDAY
I visited a castle from the 14th century! The ruins were reconstructed and turned into a museum. Unfortunately, I couldn't read much of anything, so I just admired the beauty and delicacy of artifacts from that time period. 

There are many more pictures in the photo stream listed at the top of the page.

I feel like I'm finally getting to know people! It was fun to tour the castle with a few girls. At our hostel, I was placed in a room with two other Emma's and an Emily. Emma isn't a popular name, so it's weird for there to be so many! (One girl asked if she could call me Anna Kendrick because I look like her) Some of the guys get a kick out of calling "Emma" just to watch us all respond...

I also arrived in Klaipeda and moved into my dorm room! Unfortunately, the program was larger than usual this semester and many study abroad students have to live with each other instead of with European roommates, as I was anticipating. So far, I like my roommates. One girl is from Germany and organized to study abroad on her own (called free exchange). The other girl goes to Taylor University.

I went to the grocery store again and made my own food for dinner. I enjoy cooking, so that was nice! I also got to try my first bit of European chocolate. This stuff is amazing!! Actually, I tried to order hot chocolate at a cafe that afternoon and I received a cup of hot fudge. I wasn't too thrilled, but at least I'm learning!

FRIDAY 
Klaipeda orientation! We toured the college this morning. I'm spoiled this semester with my dorm being a 30 second walk from the only academic building. I guess walking to the grocery store and cafes will make up for it. I'm pretty excited for all the walking around town!

Our study abroad interns made dinner. Yummy. I'm still getting adjusted to eating food here, as it's very different from American food. Even if I don't like all of it, at least I'm trying everything. I look forward to seeing and tasting the different dishes prepared by students from all across Europe!


Thanks for enduring this lengthy post! I've been quite excited about the history I've been learning. I'm adapting, slowly but surely. I wanted a cultural experience, and I'm certainly getting that! It's definitely weird to be in a place where English is not the native language. I get excited when I can recognize words. Lithuanian is written phonetically, unlike English; if you can learn the pronunciation of the 40+ different characters, it's quite easy to speak. Sometimes I can translate words by attempting to speak them and comparing them to English sounds.

Oh, one last thing. By Thursday morning (48 hours in), I was dubbed "the one things happen to." I'm glad to see my reputation has followed me to Europe.

Blessings!
Iki pasimatymo,
Emma

One more month...

Test post #2

I've had a countdown going since mid-May. Two hundred thirty something days. Now there are 30. What?? 

This semester I've been preparing for Lithuania. Lots of forms and papers and running around. Pre-departure sessions. Picking classes. Applying for an internship. My excitement level rises with each passing day. 

However, as my departure date draws nearer, I've begun thinking about the reality of those 4.5 months. I'm going to be on another continent! I won't have many of the securities I take for granted here in the US. For example, even at Messiah, I know that my parents will drive out if I desperately need them to. But there's not much they can do come January when we are separated by the Atlantic. 

At one of our pre-departure sessions, we were instructed to list our motivations for and fears about studying abroad. Here's a brief synopsis:

MOTIVATIONS

-enrichment and new perspectives

-growth (emotional, spiritual, academic, maturity)

-to learn (about myself, God, people, other cultures, privileges, relationships, value systems, etc.)

FEARS

-basic fears like being a picky eater and homesickness

-relationships (not getting along with roommates, not making friends, clinging to or avoiding other Americans, maintaining friendships and other connections back home, etc.)

-biggest fear: the growth I'll experience. I'll likely return being super independent, and that scares me! I'm seeing increased independence this semester, and it's not as bad as I anticipated back in September. However, the continued growth frightens me nonetheless. I'm sure I'll learn about values through living in a new culture and will eventually reevaluate my own personal priorities and beliefs, especially if I get the internship I'm applying for. I don't know what adjusting back to US life will be like, especially because I'll be among people who did not share the same experience. Life will have carried on as usual while I will be changed for a lifetime. 

If you asked me about these fears a month ago, I would have been pretty overwhelmed, possibly to the point of tears. However, I've been working through them, confessing my fears aloud to others and to God. I'm allowing people to enter this deep, scary part of my heart to help me as I walk through this adventure. As difficult as I sometimes find it, I'm amazed by the feelings of release and relief by offering my fears up to God. "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22). Now when I look at the fears listed in my journal, they've lost the emotional charge. I'm still fully aware of their presence, but I know that my Maker is looking out for me. After all, He orchestrated this adventure in the first place. 

I'm so thankful for the support network I have as I prepare to leave. I have friends and mentors who consistently check in on my progress (emotional and physical preparation). They provide a safe and nurturing environment for me to explore my soul and express my emotions. They will listen to anything I desire to say about the process and often provide reality checks. Many of these fears were not present until people brought them to my attention. However, I'm glad I began to work through them now rather than discovering them a week before I leave. I'm excited to share in my adventures with each one of you, but especially my friends and mentors who have expressed special interest in my well-being. 

I've been ruminating several scriptures over the last few weeks. Many of them I've had memorized for years, but are still just as true today. 

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

And finally, my most recent encouragement...

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:8)

I'm so excited for this adventure. I'm excited to grow. And I'm excited to see God work!

48 Days...

Just a test post :)

Yep, you read it. 48 Days until I depart!

Tonight I attended my final pre-departure orientation session and am now officially good to go.
Flights are booked.
Visa/Passport is in hand.
Classes are selected and approved.
All that stands between me and the semester of a lifetime is time itself. And finals, of course.

I am all excitement for this adventure! However, the nerves have started coming. But I'm ready. I've spent this semester preparing, and I think I can make it! I mean, I'm almost through three months without going home (yay Thanksgiving!). What's another month and a half??

Enough for now. More processing to come later.


Thanks for all the prayers and support!
~Emma